Today we’re having an honest conversation about what it means to be a business owner. As a mom, as a woman, as a human being, there are pre-conceived characteristics we all think a business owner should have.  One of them is expert knowledge and success. News flash: Failure Happens. At some point, every expert has failed.

Spoiler: I’ve had some momentous failures

Yep, I am extraordinarily passionate about moms creating health and wealth by taking their professional development and careers out of the job market and going into business.  I’m not a business expert.  In fact, full disclosure, I’m a bit of a failure.

Quick backstory…

In 2011, I wasn’t quite 30 and I was single living in Washington, DC. I worked as a contract proposal manager, and my salary had me about $8,000 shy of $100,000/year. I owned a beautiful 5-bedroom home in DC, and I made a significant income renting out rooms in my house. Annually, I easily cleared the 6-figure mark.

That same year, I met a man. Oh, what a man. He was the loving, kind, intelligent, spiritual—I want to get to know him better—kind of man.

Long story short, we got married within a year of meeting each other (crazy, I know). We were both accomplished in our own rights, and we both knew a good thing when we saw it. Plus, his job was moving him to another country in less than a year’s time.  So, time was of the essence.

Eleven months after we met, we were married and I was giving my job 30-days’ notice that I would be quitting. I rented out my house, and I moved to the Dominican Republic with my husband, no job, no Spanish language skills, and a dream of starting a location – independent business.

Failure after failure after miserable failure

Failure #1.  Coaching Business 

I have a coaching certification. I’m a good coach, but I had a horrible time finding clients in a new country with no local network and only basic Spanish language skills. So, I started my first blog.  I had no idea what I was doing, and I had no clue what blogging was supposed to do for my business. I just knew I needed more clients to make more money.  After spending 2 years struggling to be a location-independent life coach, and not landing more than 3 clients in any given month, I quit and just got a job.

The job paid less than half of what I made when I was gainfully employed, and I felt like a miserable failure.

Failure #2. Writing Business

After the birth of our first little munchkin, I decided I’d try to run a location-independent business again.  This time, in Taiwan, I decided I’d use my network to get writing jobs, and I just disregarded the blogging aspect. I had a small little toddler in tow who wanted my undivided attention, no childcare, and no working knowledge of Mandarin Chinese (the local language in Taiwan).

This time I had a few different jobs, and I got my back office set up more efficiently to handle the contracts, invoicing, and payments. My big problem this time was that I didn’t understand how to juggle my mom duties (baby, house, food, shopping, etc..) with my work duties.  Then, I got pregnant and started spending every waking moment bent over with morning (all day) sickness.  So, I stopped working again. That was miserable failure #2.

Failure #3. Writing Business (Again)

After the birth of our second little munchkin, I decided to try the writing business again. So, I lined up contracts with clients; bought project management software; purchased VPNs; and set up childcare for both kids. I thought I was ready.  When we arrived in our current home, I realized I didn’t have the internet setup that I thought I’d have and there was no way to fix it.  So, I had to bow out of my contracts, and I moped. This was miserable failure #3.

You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.”

― Maya Angelou

Every failure teaches a lesson

Failure #1 Lesson: Online Audiences Matter

This failure taught me the value of an online audience.  We move around so frequently that there’s no way for me to have clients or an audience in one geographical location.  It takes time to cultivate relationships, and I don’t spend enough time in any one place to do that.  I can cultivate amazing relationships on line.

I learned that the relationships I build with people through my blog can follow me anywhere and for me (or anyone) to run a business that sells services or a product, it doesn’t matter how good your product or service is if no one knows about it.  In fact, it’s a bit of a disservice to people not to share your knowledge because what you know may help someone else reach their potential. You owe it to the world to share your gift.

Failure #2 Lesson: Get Oversupported

This one was rough.  The primary lesson here was the significance of support. As a mom in business (or a mompreneur) you need all the extra support you can get.  You need to be OVER supported because surprises, emergencies, and chaos will ensue without any warning.

I also learned about the importance of back office support.  Having limited time and even fewer funds, I needed to find software services to simplify the logistics, everything from onboarding and new client communication to automating accounts payable and receivable. The automation allowed me to focus on the heart of my business.

Failure #3 Lesson: Preparation ≠ Success

All failures are hard, but this one stung a lot.  I thought all of my preparation would make me a success, but that was not to happen. This failure taught me that no matter how much I prepare, it may still not be enough. And that’s ok.  Regroup and keep working.

Why MY failures matter to you

I hope my failures help you to see that you can continue to learn from your failures. Just because one, two, three, or more ideas don’t pan out doesn’t mean you should give up.

Some people find the winning combination the first time. Others (like me), take 4 or more attempts until they find their entrepreneur sweet spot.

I’m finally hitting my stride as an entrepreneur. For the first time ever, my subscriber numbers are over 1000 and rising steadily. And I finally feel like I’m helping people.

So if you ever find yourself struggling, embrace the struggle.  You’ll learn something and you won’t regret it.  I want to know. What’s your biggest business struggle right now? Leave a comment for me below (use a fake name if you must).

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If you want to create a happier, calmer, and more flexible life, start with your JOB. Your job may not be the source of your happiness, but it’s how you spend the majority of your LIFE.  If your job is less than lackluster or it’s keeping you from living your life in a way that makes you happy, it may be time to ditch it and create something new. You may need a career webover.

A career webover is an online makeover for your career.  Here’s how you do it. You take your career experience and you combine it with your academic skills, personal skills, and hobbies to transition your career from the office to the internet.  Once you start your career webover, you can work from your laptop anywhere in the world—whenever you want.

Here are 9 signs mama needs a career webover.

1. You dread Sundays

Like with a passion, you despise Sundays.  It’s a free day to spend with your family but at the back of your mind, you know tomorrow is Monday and you go to work. Sunday night you prep for Monday and all the while you’re dreading it.  You used to love your job. You used to be the ideal employee; you’d be in early and stay late. You still LOVE your job, and you’re grateful for it, but you’re juggling a lot of new priorities and work is just one of many. If we’re being honest, it’s not the most important one anymore either.

2. You spend more time away than with family.

For some, this is a good thing but for you, it’s miserable. When you factor in your work day and your commute, you’re away 8-12 hours a day. Your kids are at daycare all day. They don’t even notice how long they’re away from you anymore. They’ve gotten used to it.  You haven’t.  You think about them all day and you wish you could find a way to spend more time with them before they’re stuck in school.

3. You feel stuck

You’re so lucky. At least that what your friends tell you. You are. You have a wonderful job that’s totally understanding of your situation, but you’re kinda bored. You’ve been doing the same thing with the same people for a while now. There’s little to no variety and hardly any chance at all to be creative. But, you need a job and this is better than most of the alternatives. Still, that doesn’t make you any less over it.

4. Getting through the week exhaust you

So, being bored is also exhausting.  Bored doesn’t mean you don’t have anything to do. On the contrary, if you’re like most of the moms who visit Not for Sissies, you have a gazillion and one things to do every.single.day.  You’re just uninspired by most of them and doing anything that doesn’t inspire you takes extra energy: the physical kind and the mental kind.

5. Your life happens on the weekends

All those things you want to do, you squeeze as many of them as you can into the weekend. You try a new recipe, reorganize a room, a desk, and a drawer.  You take the kids to that new spot in town or you walk aimlessly around Target. Sure you have a list, but …mmm Target.  You take that second glance at your husband because you married a good-looking man, and don’t ogle the eye candy often enough.

6. You daydream about winning the lottery

You find yourself daydreaming about being independently wealthy and the only way you imagine that happening is if you get a windfall of cash (or win the lottery), but you don’t play the lottery.  You’re too smart. You see the lotto as a stupid person’s tax, so you don’t play but you still want the cash, the wealth, and the independence. You want to invest in a winner—not chance.

7. You don’t want to telecommute.

You just want to be at home. Everyone wants to telecommute, but you know telecommuting is still working. You can’t just lie and say you’re telecommuting when you’re actually taking your kids to the park.  Someone would find you out and you’d get fired. That would be bad.  You just want to stay home, not work, and get paid. Telecommuting is like the diet version of your favorite dessert.  You want the full fat full sugary goodness of your favorite treat not the fat-free sugar-free cardboard version. You want the freedom to stay at home AND make a living without having to constantly feel like your boss is going to call or you ‘should’ be doing more work.

8. You don’t have time for kid-free fun

Your weekdays and weekends are packed with kid activities, family activities, and family logistics. When you aren’t exhausted (and you’re always exhausted), you cram your fun in the time between the kids’ bedtime and the time you fall asleep. Sometimes you get 3 hours. Sometimes you get 30 minutes. However it happens, you don’t get to have a whole lot of fun. But parents don’t get to have fun—at least that’s what you tell yourself.

9. Your LIFE revolves around your JOB

Everything in your life revolves around a job that you don’t really like. So the things you love and want to spend more time doing get pushed to the backburner behind your job, which is easily not the most loved joyous part of your life.

If even one of these 9 signs strikes a chord with you then you may need to think about finding an exit strategy for your job.  Consider that your exit strategy may not be another job. Perhaps it’s just time for you—mama—to branch out on your own. It may be time for you to give your career a webover and create a career on your own terms.  I know it’s scary, but it’s absolutely possible. You could totally do it…if you wanted it badly enough.

Are you ready for a career webover?   Let me help you figure out what kind of courses you need and how to get ready to launch your  online business.  Get started now. Download a copy of The Mom’s Guide to Starting An Online Business.

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