Marriage is not for sissies. After a few years of marriage, this is a nugget of wisdom I’ve learned and want to share. It’s how I stay sane. It’s what keeps me going when I want to run for the hills.
Whether you’re married or single or somewhere in between, you need to know that marriage is not for sissies.
Sure, you fell in love. There was probably some romance. You may have even had a lot of romance. For your sake, I hope you did. I’m sure the proposal was wonderful, and the wedding… the wedding was probably exceptional.
If you’re lucky, the first few years of marriage were pretty smooth. Sure, there may have been a couple of bumps, but they weren’t a big deal until they were a massive deal…
Then things got real. Disagreements got heated. You may have started to wonder if something wasn’t possibly wrong with this whole marriage thing that you’d gotten yourself into.
Who is this person anyway?
He couldn’t possibly be the man who swept you off your feet. He couldn’t sweep potato chip crumbs off the floor.
There comes a time when you look at your spouse not with the eyes of romance but with the eyes of commitment. In this moment, you say to yourself, “I know him, and he knows me. I committed my life to this man—even though sometimes God knows I question why— and I love him.”
You just may not like him…
You may not like him from moment to moment and believe it or not, that’s ok. The thing is, marriage is not for sissies.
Marriage is not all rainbows and unicorns. It’s not holding hands and running through fields of wildflowers. Marriage is agreeing to live the rest of your life in a three-legged race with your spouse.
Yes. It’s a three-legged race.
You know why?
You’re stuck together. If he falls. You fall, and vice versa. You’re a team. As a team, what happens to one happens to both, and you can’t be successful when your spouse is miserable.
That’s just poor sportsmanship.
Plus, can you tell me anyone who can win a three-legged race alone?
No, you can’t.
When one partner is down…
The only way to win the three-legged race is to pick up your partner, pull up the potato sack, and carry both the sack and your partner across the finish line with you. It’s exhausting work, but you both win.
Your other two options leave you and your partner worse off. You could:
- Just stand there and glare at your partner—sprawled out in the grass unable to move forward. This option leaves you both stuck, and you lose the race.
- Say “screw this.” Step out of the sack and walk across the finish line alone and disqualified. Again, you lose the race.
In both of these options, you lose the race. Here’s the deal. Some days, it may be you sprawled out in the grass unable to move forward, and you’d want your spouse to help you up and carry you (if necessary) to get you both to the finish line.
So yes, marriage is a 3-legged race. Sometimes you’re in the middle of a rainstorm running the race together in your shared potato sack. It can get rough.
Marriage is not for sissies.
This is not a drill. Many people see marriage as expendable. Today, most people think they can just step out of the potato sack and leave the game when the three-legged race gets too difficult. After all, it’s not easy trying to do anything tied to someone else. So when it gets hard, of course, we want to check out and go about rebuilding our lives without that extra person tagging along.
But that’s not what commitment is about and above everything, marriage is a commitment but it is not for sissies. You can’t tap out when it gets rough.
This is my battle cry. Marriage is not for sissies! Whenever I get frustrated. This is what I remind myself. There’s always going to be something, but not getting bogged down in it is what helps me stay grounded, healthy, and positive about every aspect of my life and marriage.
This is just a tiny tidbit of wisdom I’ve learned in the first few years of my marriage. What do you do when you hit a pothole in your marriage, with your kids, your health, your job, etc..? Leave your tips in the comment section below.