Whether it’s the New Year or a June Saturday at the beach, everyone has dreams for their lives. As I rang in the New Year, I sat and read about New Year’s Resolutions. And I found that 80% of New Year’s resolutions fail by February. That got me to thinking. People set goals with good intentions and then just abandon them. Are they lying to themselves? Do you lie to yourself about your goals?
Hear me out. What is it that causes a person to make a fantastic (achievable goal) only to throw in the towel within 4 months (or less)? Do they want to achieve that goal less than someone else? Maybe. Are they unwilling to do the work? Perhaps. More often than not, there’s little to no difference between people who achieve their goals and those who flame out. Strangely enough, the reason one person succeeds and the other fails has less to do with each person’s personality than it does with their relationship to honesty and promises.
Do you lie to yourself about your goals?
See, setting goals is a lot like making a promise to ourselves. For instance, “I promise to lose 20 pounds in the next 6 months” is a goal but it’s also a promise that I make to myself.
So, when we abandon our goals, we’re not only giving up we’re also lying to ourselves and breaking a promise that we’ve made to ourselves.
You wouldn’t break a promise to a kid, would you?
I hope not.
Why would you break a promise to yourself? Why would you lie to yourself?
Yep, you lie to yourself. Now, what do you want to do about it?
You can’t fix a lie.
I hate to burst your bubble, but you can’t fix a lie to yourself or to anyone, really. There’s no way to unlie. It’s not even a word.
So here’s what you do.
You’ve got to change the way you think about yourself and how you think about promises.
I’m willing to bet that when you give your word, you stand by it; you keep your promises to others. That’s called integrity. You do what you say you’ll do.
Here’s the trick though. You have to hold yourself as just as important (and deserving of integrity) as you hold other people. In other words, treat yourself with the same respect you treat others. Don’t lie to yourself.
Because you deserve to reach your goals, even if it’s uncomfortable and inconvenient. What’s more, if you agreed to help someone else, you’d do it. So, be the same reliable friend to yourself as you are to others.
Don’t lie to yourself. Here’s how to keep your own promises.
We agree. Lying is bad and when you lie to yourself, it’s the worse. So, don’t do it.
When you set goals (or make promises to yourself) for your life, be kind to yourself and see them through — just like you would for someone else. Use these 3 tips to keep your own promises and achieve your goals.
1. Be A Catalyst, Not A Victim.
So many people live their lives always blaming something or someone for their lot in life. Whether they have a crappy boss or their client is too picky, a victim is never responsible for what’s going on in their life. Don’t be a victim; be the catalyst. A catalyst is a person who rises to any challenge and finds solutions. A catalyst makes stuff happen no matter their circumstances. Be a catalyst
2. Make A Plan And Follow It
People who follow through on their promises to other people have a plan for how they’re going to make it happen. If you promise to make a cake for a bake sale, you just don’t cross wait until an hour before the event and cross your fingers, hoping you have all of the ingredients. You make a plan. You buy the ingredients and schedule time to make the cake.
The same is true for your promises to yourself. Make a plan and follow through.
3. Be Stubborn
When you’re a catalyst in your life, no matter what happens you stay the course and work toward your goals. You have to be stubborn and don’t let anything stop you. Not people’s opinions, sleep, work, or family obligations. Nothing. You have to be stubborn AND a catalyst. When circumstances arise to knock you off track and decimate your goals, you have to find a solution to keep you moving forward without neglecting your other promises and responsibilities.
No matter what…
Stay on your toes. If it was easy, you’d be a skinny, billionaire, lounging on the beach in Bali.
Just don’t lie to yourself. Don’t make a promise and then just abandon it. You deserve more than that. And if you can keep promises to other people, you can and owe yourself the same level of integrity.