Balance is everyone’s goal, and everyone and their grandma is talking about how and why you need to create it. Leading a balanced life, having balanced meals, being balanced between discipline and compassion with your kids. Balance is big and it’s everywhere. You’re supposed to create it but no one (normal) seems to have it. So, what are you supposed to do when your balanced life looks more like chaos? Keep reading because today we’re breaking down the concept of balance. Don’t stress mama: balance is a destination, not a journey.
Yea, I know. You’re probably thinking but no, everyone says it’s the journey that’s important NOT the destination. Woman, no. Balance is momentary, and LIFE is (hopefully) full of billions upon billions of moments. All the moments are not going to be balanced.
Marguerite Orane said it best in her Huffington Post article:
Balance is a momentary thing: like playing on a child’s seesaw the joy is in the up and down, not the moment when we are perfectly balanced. We are doomed to failure if what we are searching for is a fleeting momentary thing because the moment we find it, it’s gone.
So mama, here are your 5 tips to stress less:
1. Let balance be your destination.
I say balance is the destination because the journey is definitely NOT balanced. The journey is bumpy. There are traffic and pit stops along the way. The journey is anything but balanced. Strive for the destination—the end of the day—to be balanced between the good, the bad, and the ugly (know which parts of your day can get ugly).
2. Lean into your feelings
You know, we’re all guilty of pushing our feelings aside. We minimize our sadness and stuff our anger down as far as we can manage. The solution is to lean into how you feel. When you can allow yourself to cry or scream your anger into a pillow, the sting of your sadness or frustration will disappear. You’ve got to let it out, but you can’t make them go away or disappear. A freakishly wise woman once told me, Emotions are like gas. You get sick if you don’t let it out. They will also ruin your day.
Mama friend, you gotta let it out. If you feel angry, BE angry. Find a safe way to release your feelings and let them process through and out of your body. Same with sadness.
My toddler is the perfect example. When a toddler feels something, you see it. When they’re happy, they’re bouncin’ and can’t keep still. If they’re sad, mad, or just frustrated they’re stomping or just falling all out on the floor letting you know something ain’t right. Once the feeling passes, they’re fine. It’s over. They don’t hold onto the feeling because little kiddos instinctively know to let their emotions pass through their bodies. It’s in and out.
3. Don’t suffer in silence.
When our emotions are just too much to bear, so many of us just suffer in silence. We just cover it up and keep it moving. We don’t ask for help. If you’re like me, you may think others will judge you for your feelings or maybe you think no one can handle your feelings. Maybe you’ve been told your whole life that you’re too much. Well, forget that. The right friend will be able to handle you and hold your feelings without judgment. It feels so good to share the emotional load and a good friend will help you process your feelings and help you sort out your options.
Whether you have a long-time friend or you’re an isolated mommy and your friends are a phone call away. Talk to someone. Don’t just suffer alone.
4. Prioritize Yourself
When your well-being is outta whack there’s no way to avoid stress. It’s just easier to lose your center. If you’re being honest with yourself, when you’re not taking care of yourself your stress levels rise MUCH faster. When mama needs a break, you’ve got to ask for what you need. Yea, I know it’s stressful and just more friggin work to ask for what you need but the destination—kid free time—is worth it. Maybe it’s only an hour after bedtime, make that hour matter. When you prioritize yourself you can see the light of balance at the end of the tunnel.
5. Ask for What You Need
This is the hardest thing to do, but it doesn’t have to be. I know you run yourself in all directions taking care of everyone but yourself. Full disclosure, I went for almost 2 years without a pedicure. That ish is not ok. I needed a pedicure. My feet looked like all dry and calloused. My toes looked like claws. Every time I looked at my feet I grimaced but in 2 years, I didn’t stop for one hour to get a pedicure. I just never asked for the personal time. When you don’t ask for what you need, the resentment and the frustration you already feel can just increase with every passing day that you don’t ask for what you need (and want).
Mama friend, I know you’ve got a lot on your plate, and I know at the back of your mind you (occasionally) think this life thing should be a bit easier (for you), but you never have time to figure out how to make that happen. This is it. Forget about balance, and live loud messy and on purpose. You’ll be ever so happy. Just start with these 5 tips.
How do you create more balance in your life? Share your tips in the comments below.