Being a stay-at-home mom may be the single least appreciated role for women, second only to the role of stay-at-home wife. But going back to the appreciation of motherhood, when did women start justifying their existence as mothers?
Moms, we’re always quick to highlight how busy and tired we are. We’re hustling to succeed at work or launch our business while trying to encourage a toddler to transition from diapers to big girl/boy undies in three days.
In THREE days!
It feels like motherhood has become this giant cesspool of stress, anxiety, and a need for never-ending success.
Now, I’m all about moms creating businesses and earning an income to support their families, but I’m also a big fan of balance, calm, and a peaceful spirit.
It worries me to see so many women stressed out on work, stressed out at home, and constantly adding more to their plates to prove ….their value, worth, bad ass skills? I don’t know what the end goal is, but I find myself asking, do moms need to make money to justify motherhood?
Is being a mom not enough anymore?
Recently, someone asked me what I did. I replied I’m just a mom.
It was my husband who corrected me. It was my husband who replied
She’s not just a mom. She’s a great mom, and she left her career writing contract proposals to travel the world with me. When she worked, she easily made more money than me, but she wanted a family. Now she writes an awesome blog that’s growing both in readership and revenue daily to inspire moms to start online businesses and see the world with their families.
God, I love my husband, and it took him standing up for me to realize I had devalued my own role as a wife, mother, and mompreneur. Because honestly, I’m not making the income I used to make in my career. I’m finally making something as a mompreneur but I have to remember that everything takes time. Afterall, it took me 10 years of daily grind to work from a starting salary of $20,000 USD to grossing over $100,000 with salary and investments.
When I lost my income, I felt like I lost my worth. I was just a mom.
It’s not cool to be a mom anymore. You have to make money. Do something interesting. No one cares if you’re just a mom.
Mother Boredom + Mother Guilt
There are so many people who tell me,
oh you’re so lucky to stay at home with your kids. You don’t have to work.
So honestly, I love being able to be home with my kids. My son developed severe eczema shortly after he was born and my daughter is an eternal ray of sunshine. It’s wonderful to be home with them and to cook for them, watch them grow, and play with them. It’s also nice to be able to focus on healing my son’s eczema.
It can be great to be a stay-at-home mom, but everything has two sides.
The other side of being a stay-at-home mom is the boredom and the proceeding guilt.
After all, as women born in the 70s and 80s, we were taught we could do and be anything we wanted. The sky was the limit they told us.
I recently had a “mompiphany” (aka mom+ epiphany). Balance does not and will never exist, and our goal should be to enjoy every moment of our lives and allow each moment to fill us with love and energy. This is never truer for moms.
Part of the just a mom issues we face is a fear of missing out. It’s sad to admit, but sometimes I fear that I’m missing out on life by being stuck at home as a mom.
Isn’t that sad??
There’s so much pressure to make money and to be successful that we sacrifice one of the (perhaps THE) most precious moments of life, the baby years of our children.
But the truth is….
The sky is still the limit.
The sky IS STILL the limit. Being a mom doesn’t have to limit what is possible in your life, but it may limit what’s possible in your life RIGHT NOW. That’s not to say that in the next three to five years other newer more interesting possibilities may not find their way to you.
That’s also not to say that you can’t (or shouldn’t) pursue your goals NOW. In fact, you can and you should pursue whatever personal and professional goals are in your heart to achieve.
Setting your mama intention
The point here for moms (AND dads) is to really set an intention for both parenting AND income-generation (or work). In many cases, moms HAVE to work, but work doesn’t have to necessarily be all or nothing. You pursue these goals with an intention to create a better quality of life and more quality time with and for your family.
Moms don’t need to make money to justify motherhood or themselves. Moms choose to pursue careers, side hustles, and businesses to improve the lives of their families. We don’t need to PROVE anything.
Ultimately, I think what we need to remember as moms is that the work is no longer about us. And while we should (and do) take pride in our accomplishments, we have to be completely clear about WHY we do all that we do.
Do you ever feel like just a mom? You’re not. Leave a comment below and share ALL that you do and the goals you have for yourself and your family. Go!